Lasting Impression
by peters.kitten
Summary: Alice had a lamb. His eyes were black as coal. If we play very quiet, my lamb, Alice never has to know.


_I got in one of my moods again and this is what came out when I sat down to write. Rated M like all my other stuff. You've been warned. _

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_**Alice had a lamb. His eyes were black as coal. If we play very quiet, my lamb, Alice never has to know. **_

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_**Bella POV~**_

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_My first glimpse of him was when I was six. To this day, one hundred and nineteen years later, that first image is still burned into my brain. I'll give him this, the man sure knows how to make a lasting impression. _

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"Can I help you?" The red-haired woman smiled up at me through her glasses. I gave her a small practiced smile.

"I'm Isabella Harris. I just transferred here from Texas." The lies rolled off my tongue with an ease born from years of practice.

"Ah, yes. Let me just grab your schedule and a map of the school." She turned around and started digging through a pile of papers until she found the correct ones.

"You know, we don't get that many transfers around here," she said as she handed me the stack of papers, her eyes gleaming as she tried to get the latest gossip. "What brings you to our lovely little town?"

"The weather," I answered in a sickly sweet voice. I walked out the door chuckling under my breath at the gaping woman that I'd left behind.

The sun was shining brightly down on me as I made my way to my car to grab my backpack. I relished in the feel, knowing that this would likely be the last time that I'd feel it for a while in this dismal little excuse for a town. I had waited for this one for twenty-one days, after all.

The rest of the day was spent learning the layout of the school and making nice with all the little piss ants. It's a good thing that I'd been playing one role or another for the majority of my life, or else I wouldn't have made it through the day without snapping the bitch Lauren's over-perfumed little neck. Screw putting criminals in jail, put the fuckers in high school. Seriously. If nothing else, it would help with the over-population problem.

By the end of the day, I was barely suppressing the urge to just say fuck it and change all my well-laid plans and go for the instant gratification. As I climbed in my car and drove away from the school, I regained some of my painstakingly crafted control. I could do this. What was a few more months compared to the years that I had already been waiting.

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_The second time I saw him was on my eleventh birthday. I was hiding in the cellar from my drunken father when I saw the crumbled up newspaper on top of a box of my mother's things. I normally would have paid it no attention, however I'd caught a glimpse of a picture that made my breath catch. There it was, the face that had haunted my dreams for the past five years. _

_The picture was in the bottom corner of a piece of the worn paper that had been torn off, but I just knew that there had to be an article to go with it somewhere in the crumpled heap. I quickly grabbed the rest of the newspaper pages and straightened them out, scanning through the articles to find the one that I needed. Ignoring the main article about a house fire taking the lives of a mother and her three daughters, I flipped the page over and finally found the article that went with the picture. A Major in the war who had gone missing a year prior had officially been declared dead. A brittle smile appeared on my lips. I finally had a name to go with the face. Jasper Whitlock._

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As I pulled into the parking spot, my mind was in turmoil. Could I really pull this off? Would all my plans end up as fruitless as my dead womb? Taking a deep breath, I shoved down my nerves and wrapped my illusion tighter around myself. I knew my glamour was as immaculate now as it had been since I'd first perfected it after awakening to this new life. I was told that a vampire's gifts were based on the quirks of their human personalities. If so, it said a lot about me as a person that my gift was being able to hide my true self completely from everyone else.

I waited until I saw the silver Volvo approaching before I slowly climbed out of my car. I took my time grabbing my stuff and turned only after I heard the car doors shut. I was rewarded for my planning as I looked up and found him staring at me with pitch-black eyes. I had to wonder if he subconsciously recognized me on some level. I had glamoured my eyes the same exact color as my human eyes, human eyes that had once stared up at him from a six year old face.

I shook my head and smiled at him, quickly scanning the rest of his coven...no, _family_. Many months of re-con allowed me to know a lot more about these people then they would ever know about me. I smiled at each one of them, lingering a few seconds longer on the only unattached male in the group. I knew an "in" when I saw one. I had specifically tailored my glamour towards attracting him, this Edward Cullen. All except for the eyes, those were all for Jasper.

I also spotted my rival and had to stifle a smirk as I watched her snuggle up closer to her Jazzy. She may not be able to see me in her visions, but she still seemed to sense the threat my presence was sure to bring. Enjoy him while it lasts, I thought with an internal grin. He'll be mine soon enough.

Realizing that I had spent just a little bit too much time staring at the beautiful vampires, I shook my head from side to side and planted my best glazed look on my face. I could've kissed Jessica at that moment as she walked up beside me and let her eyes scan over the Cullens. Time to get in character.

"Who are they? They're so beautiful," I said with a wistful sigh. I immediately slammed a hand over my mouth and blushed a nice rosy color as Jessica laughed.

"Don't worry, they have that effect on pretty much everyone. They're Doctor Cullen's adopted kids..."

She continued to tell me all about the Cullen's all the way up to the door of my first class, which Jessica was fortunately not in. Just as she was honestly amusing me with her theory about Doctor Cullen using the latest surgical advances to create the perfect family, I heard him approach. He snickered quietly and I knew that he'd heard the whole conversation. Jessica, however, did not notice his approach.

"Like, seriously, though, Bella, I bet they're some kind of government experiment or something. No one can be that perfect naturally." I gave my best deer in the headlights look at Jasper who was standing directly behind Jessica smirking at me in amusement. I let the blush overtake my face and knew that I was probably resembling a tomato right about now.

Jessica took in my face and my wide-eyed expression and squealed. "Someone's behind me, right?"

I nodded my head slowly in silent assent and watched with growing humor as she turned around in slow motion until she saw Jasper standing only a few feet behind her. She jumped about three feet in the air, let out a loud "Eeep!", and took off running away from the classroom door. I watched in stunned amazement for a second before the laughter set in.

I wasn't the only one laughing, either. Jasper was clutching his side as his laughter rolled through the halls. From the corner of my eyes, I noticed that everyone was staring at him in shock. I was pretty sure that it was the first time they'd ever heard him laugh.

"I'm Bella," I said as I smiled up at him. "And you, Mr. Government Experiment, have some serious talent. I've been trying to get rid of her all morning."

"I'm Jasper," he drawled, eyes still shining with mirth. He stared at me for a few seconds and I knew he was curious as to why he couldn't feel my emotions. I almost smirked as his expression turned to shock as he drew in a deep inhale of breath.

"You have no scent," he breathed out in amazement. I scrunched my face up and let him see my amusement.

"Yeah, it's called bathing. It tends to help us lowly humans stink less. We can't all be perfect government specimens, now can we?"

And that was the start of my friendship with Jasper. It took weeks before I was regarded without suspicion and months before I was let in on the Cullen's dirty little secret and it only happened that quick because Edward fancied himself in love with me because of my silent mind.

I walked a thin line when it came to my relationship with Edward. I had to be careful every single second of the day. Love was one of the hardest roles to play, especially when you're subtilely trying to catch your boyfriends brothers interest.

It took me almost nine months, but I did it. The first time I saw the honest affection in Jasper's eyes as his lips grazed mine, I thought I would spontaneously combust. It was a beautiful thing. And when he took me for the first time in a hotel room a few towns over? Simply brilliant. I could almost literally _see_ the noose tighten a little more with every passing day. And when I was sure it was choking him, I struck.

My plans ended the same way they started - on a wonderfully sunny day. We were in Edward's meadow, brilliantly naked after our latest round of love making. The rest of the Cullen's had gone hunting, leaving only Jasper to stay and 'protect' the human. Or so he thought.

My gift is an amazing thing in its actuality. It's really more of a group of small talents combined to make sure that I'll never have to show my true self. Forever in the shadows, always hidden. Unless I choose not to be, as I had done today. Poor Alice wouldn't know what hit her.

As we lay on the grass, I made sure to push my shield out to encompass Jasper. Couldn't have him feeling her emotions before the final act was finished, after all. I waited for a few minutes just to be certain, but I knew she was out there watching us.

"Do you love me, Jasper? Sometimes I feel like you might just be using me," I whispered, staring deep into Jasper's golden eyes. He smiled softly at me and kissed my forehead.

"You know that I love you. I've told you countless times before," he murmured as he nuzzled my neck. I huffed and pushed at him.

"Then why continue this ruse? Do you love her more than you love me? Will you force our love into the shadows forever?"

"It's complicated," he sighed as he gracefully flopped onto his back on the blanket. "I love you, Bella, I do. But she's my wife. I love her, too. Don't make me choose."

"I think I'll make the choice for you, Jasper." Alice's voice was quiet, her heart broken as she stepped into the clearing. I knew I should've gasped and scrambled to cover myself. I knew I probably should've stayed in character just a little bit longer. All I did was smirk, though, as I laid back to watch the show.

Jasper jumped up and ran to her, apologizing and begging for forgiveness. If the ensuing fight was music to my ears, the look on Jasper's face when he realized that she would never take him back was almost orgasmic for me.

I stood up and made my way over to them, head down and staring at my feet the entire way. I'm sure my pose looked demure and ashamed but it was only to hide the gleeful expression that I couldn't seem to wipe off my face.

As I got close, my plans solidified and a split second later Alice gasped and started backing away from me. It wasn't enough. Jasper fell to his knees and hung his head, thinking that she was only trying to escape from him. Sorry, Jasper, I hate to tell ya but I'm the predator she's running from this time.

I threw my shield back around my mind and sprung at her, easily ripping her head from her body. It took only seconds to rip the limbs from her torso and grab the lighter from my pocket. She was already burning by the time Jasper's grief stricken mind had even processed what had just happened.

Next thing I knew, Jasper had me pinned to the ground, hands around my throat as he howled in agony. My laughter only seemed to spur him on as he tried to squeeze the life from me. He loosed his grip slightly after a few minutes and stared deep into my eyes. His glistening onyx eyes begged me to explain this, to tell him that it was only a terrible dream.

"Why?" he finally choked out, still staring down at me. I grinned in what I'm sure was a malicious way as I adjusted my glamour until I looked the same way that I did at age six. He jerked back as if he'd been slapped.

"My life for yours. You destroyed my life, I destroyed yours. I didn't start this, sugar. I only retaliated."

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_I watched the carnage from my hiding place under the bed. I wasn't safe here. I knew that because the monster had locked eyes on me long minutes ago. Brilliant red eyes stared into my own as he savagely ripped into my mother's neck. They never left my form as the crimson of my sisters' blood flowed into his mouth and down his pale form until, finally, I was the only one left alive in the room. He smirked down at me as he took that one step closer to me and crouched down to my level._

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"You should've killed me that night. It would've been a mercy."

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"_Burn it down, we have to go right now. A scout from the Volturi has been spotted only miles from here!" The red-eyed demon gave me one more smirk before he straightened. As he left the room, I swore I heard his laughter over the crackle of the flames. I scurried out of my hiding spot and ran to the hidden panel in the wall that led to the escape route that had been used for years by slaves in the underground railroad. If I had known then how my life would've turned out, I never would've moved from my spot under the bed._

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"You don't know the horrors I've lived through." Memories that I'd forced to remain buried bubbled up to the surface.

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_Beatings from a drunken father who blamed me for the death of his wife...screaming in pain as he used me to replace her in all ways...being married off to the highest bidder over thrice my age...being forced into my 'wifely duties'...getting pregnant at barely fourteen...losing my first child to a beating when I was only a few months along ...finding out that I'd never be able to carry another again...being changed at age sixteen by a monster worse than Jasper...years upon years of horror spent in servitude to him, forced to do things that left me colder than ice...feeling the euphoric pleasure of ripping the bastards head off when he let his guard down..._

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"Every horror-stricken moment in my life leads straight back to you, Jasper. It's always been you," I whispered almost tenderly as I raised my hand to touch his cheek one last time.

He did nothing but stare into my eyes as I voiced my deepest confession. "I think I might love you."

And that was the bitch of it all. Confucius said it best when he said before you embark on a journey of revenge, best dig two graves. I exhaled loudly as I raised up and touched my lips to my love's.

"I also think that makes me hate you even more," I confessed. "Not that you'll remember any of this conversation."

I stared deep into his eyes as I erased his memory back to when he'd first started fighting with Alice. I almost felt bad as I pushed new images into his mind.

Jasper going into a rage and killing Alice...me screaming for him to stay away...Jasper grabbing me just a little bit too hard and crushing my ribs...whispering that I loved him with my dying breath...burning my body with Alices...deciding to scatter our ashes into the ocean.

And then I took the protective block away from all his other memories of our time together. Edward would see everything. Everything Jasper held dear would soon be lost to him. We were even. My revenge was complete, my family avenged. My job was done.

It was with a smile that I did what I should have done over a century ago and walked into the flames.

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_I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll  
>I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds <em>

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_Crawling through this world as disease flows through my veins  
>I look into myself, but my own heart has been changed<br>I can't go on like this  
>I loathe all I've become<br>I have grown so weary of this lie I live_

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_**After I finished this and read back over it, the only thought in my head was "Wow, I might be just a little more disturbed than I originally thought." Yup... Please take a second of your time and leave me a review. Reviews are like candy to us authors. Feed the monster! **_


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